Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
