I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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