well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
