i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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