the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
as a side note pls kill me
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