I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
