Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
