member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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