just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize