these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
