In the future we'll all be gay
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
