i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
