just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
