I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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