So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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