College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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