I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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