Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
