I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
