The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
