summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
