dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
