I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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