i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
