in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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