We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
