your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
