I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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