Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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