she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
