It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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