Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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