its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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