Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
