are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
