I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
