But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
