I cockslap morals
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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