My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
