well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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