I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
