My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
