I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
