Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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