after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
