I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
