You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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