btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
