they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
