i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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