walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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