So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
