Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
