if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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