Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
time to smoke my breakfast
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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