the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just pee around me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
