why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
why do cheetos always look like penises
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
