K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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