drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
