so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
