Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize