How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
