beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
