What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
