So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
