She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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