Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
