it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
