he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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